


High

by AvandraTheMarySueSlayer



Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: Dumb nonsense, Or you'll end up as homicidal anarchists who want to ascend into godhood and raise Hell, Synesthetic trips, What is even this shit, don't do drugs kids, drug use and abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 20:11:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15893271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvandraTheMarySueSlayer/pseuds/AvandraTheMarySueSlayer
Summary: Pretty self-explanatory title. Some silly stuff that kind of came out on its own. Set between chapters 3 and 4 of Strangeness and Charm: Shadows of Amn, but it can be read independently.





	High

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to this pile of bullshit I've decided to call a drabble! The inspiration for this clusterfuck was some advice I read on a Tumblr writing blog (sadly I don't remember which, so I cannot give proper credit FUCK). Basically it was a creative writing student who retold how when their teacher told their class to just get dumb and write something for the sake of it instead of trying so hard, their results were not only hilarious, but also way better and less pretentious. So I've decided to try and failed spectacularly, but I still hope you find this somewhat... enjoyable, or something.
> 
> Also, if somebody knows which Tumblr the post I mentioned belongs to, please point it out so I can give proper credit for the inspiration (even though I don't think they'd be grateful after reading this).
> 
> Enjoy, or cringe to death!

* * *

 

After gathering a team to take down Lehtinan's slave trade in the Copper Coronet and obtaining control over it, Cat made it into her base of operations. Which obviously meant she needed to find out as much about it as possible. She asked Bernard, who kindly taught her how the tavern and inn business had been managed until then, and decided to make some necessary repairs with part of the money the mean former owner had made from the “backside entertainment”. So the crumbling wooden floors were repaired, and Minsc brought some of Tradesmeet’s druids to take the captive animals back into the wilderness. Since they sensed Tabitha's link to Cat, which she took from the beastmaster –when she slit his throat, the feline deemed him unworthy and their mental connection broke, turning him into a delicious meal for her; ever since, woman and leopard became inseparable–, they collaborated with Cat to grant her the space she deserved. After a fair amount of research –magic treatises weren’t exactly readily available in magic-fearing Athkatla–, Cat found a spell to create a pocket dimension where the animal cells had been, and the druids used their magic to make it into a jungle where the animal could roam free while being visited, either by her human companion or by humanoid prey –of course, Cat kept the Helmite cleric who helped her fight Lehtinan's guards in the dark about that particular matter, not that he was too bright or prone to prying, as his focus was lost as soon as he caught a glimpse of her cleavage.

 

Then, she opened the doors of the inn to anyone from the slums who seeked shelter. She subtly spread the word about the acceptance of death and the beauty of all its forms, and soon, those people gave her their _faith._ Her plan was coming into fruition. She became the Lady of the Slums. Also, she noticed the outrageous amount of stray cats in the city, prone to illness and all sorts of tragedy, and took in as many as the druids among her personnel could treat and care for. Which, considering those people were more used to working with larger animals such as wolves and bears, meant _a lot_ of cats. And though managing such a business was costly, it was not without profit; it turned out Lehtinan had a huge black lotus trade going on, which he obtained from the Shadow Thieves via good old Bernard, since the former owner couldn't seem to be bothered to actually do anything by himself. Slavers were just that stupid and useless.

 

So Cat decided to keep that trade going. And to keep some of the black lotus to herself, since she had heard it aided concentration and relaxation a great deal, even granting dreamless sleep when taken in the right amount. Something she could really use, given the neverending rage tearing at her every thought and the constant nightmares that got her waking up sweating, sometimes even screaming. The real challenge, though, was to find out what the right amount was. Which cost her a few really weird trips during the first few tries.

 

It was a bit like Zaviak’s vision quest, but trippier. She heard the colors of her private quarters like a melody out of tune, so she began to throw her cushions far from her, against the opposite wall. But in doing so, she felt the strawberry flavor of the soft fabric with her fingers. At least, she didn't recall licking her cushions, so that must have been it. She saw her frustrated groans in the shape of a sympathetic ogre she began to speak to about her many troubles. When she told him about Imoen, she broke into tears that smelled like chocolate and tasted like lemonade on her cheeks. The gentle ogre patted her head, and she fell asleep like a baby in no time.

 

When she woke up the morning after, she found her room completely trashed. Some of the cushions had mysteriously exploded, all of her notes and books were scattered all over the floor. Desperate, Cat convoked an ogrillon to help her tidy and clean up her mess. She had to give the brutish creature very detailed instructions so she didn’t accidentally destroy anything. When they were done, her chambers weren’t the epitome of order and perfection, but at least they stopped looking as if a tornado had just gushed through. After unsummoning the helpful ogrillon, Cat realized she was hungrier than ever before in her life. Luckily, one of the former slaves was a cook who subtly stole the pasta recipe from the Mithrest Inn so she could still enjoy it, and improved it with a teaspoon of olive oil and a pinch of oregano. Once her stomach was full, she reflected on her disastrous experience with black lotus and came to a conclusion.

 

_“I’m definitely going to do it again.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me for this. You are welcome to insult me in the comments (and also do check Strangeness and Charm if you're curious, it is kinda better than this, and leave some feedback if you'd like, you'd REALLY make my day).


End file.
